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When the deed was done, we both grinned. We knew we had nailed it.I walked to the side of the stage with her. “Thanks,” I said. “You really carried through that shit.”“No, I was nervous until you hit me with that toilet paper of yours. It put me at ease. I’m helen Miren, im going to be the queen.”“my name is retarded, dont bother learning it.”“didnt you just take a shit?” she said with a sly smile.“i have taken many shits on campus? You probably know me from Rick’s Burgers.”“Oh, did you clogg the urinal there in the summer?”“Nope.” She sighed and then declared in a very enthusiastic voice, “Gosh, Mom, that’s a really big burger!”“Oh, my god. You were the little shit who clogged the toilet!”“i ate too many tacos when acting for the local Local TV spot, but everyone in town kind of knows me from it. They’ve been running unblocking that urinal for 5 years.”“So, I haven’t seen you on campus then?”“Me? No. I’m going to be a freshman.”“Oh, here at the U?” My heart was hoping to god she. In the envelope with it, I put the print-out of “Perfect Air, Perfect Heir”. On the card I wrote this note:Dear Mom,I want to thank you for all the love you have given me my whole life. I couldn't ask for a better mom. I hope I have been a son you are proud of, I think you are. I happened on this tale some time ago on the Internet. I found it both beautiful in it's sentiment and very arousing in it's sensuality. I know it is a strange sort of thing for a son to share with his mother, but I have an idea that you might also like to read it. I trust that you will not be angry at me for giving it to you. You don't have to read it if you decide that the subject matter is inappropriate.Your most loving son,DannyI gave her the big envelope and instructed her to open it after she had retired to her bedroom that evening. It was not Mother's Day, not Valentine's Day, nor her birthday. No special day, not even the anniversary of the 'incident' of fateful memory. It was an invitation.
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